Grow Where You Are Planted... and other lessons my father taught me

Life has a magical way of coming full circle and I find myself returning to the many lessons my father taught me as a child, which were not taught as much through his words as through his deeds. One of these lessons is this... GROW WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED.

Perhaps it is the Leo in me or an unconscious quest to find my true home, but I was born with a restless soul. Regardless, it wasn’t until recently, staring 49 in the face, that I would come to more fully appreciate the lessons of simplicity and contentment that my father taught through the example of his life.

My father never moved far from his childhood home. This, I believe, instilled in him a deep connection to the community and the very soil he walked on. There is something to be said about all those years of bearing witness to “progress” (real progress as well as “so-called” progress).

My father was an amazing storyteller. He could paint the most vivid pictures in my head of all the many shenanigans that he took part in along that little piece of the Jersey Shore when he was a just a young boy. That boy became a man, a father, a business owner in the same home town that grew him. At every hardware shop, mom & pop restaurant, and bank we walked into with him within a 30 mile radius, someone would greet him by his first name and a big smile. He made a strong impression wherever he went.

My dad’s size, firm tone, and “I mean business” eye contact could put the fear of God into any misbehaving adolescent or unsuspecting boy attempting to date one of his daughters. Yet it could never be said that this man was anything but fair, funny and kind-hearted and to all who took the time to roll up their sleeves and work alongside him, he was considered a bit of a backyard sage. If you could show him respect through your time and a willingness to be his “apprentice” you had him won-over and he would impart his wisdom on you. As anyone who knew my father could attest, this small investment of your time and energy, paid great dividends.

It was in these privileged moments of being this man’s “sidekick” that many, including myself, learned the most valuable lessons of our lives (and a few a his favorite rated “R” jokes). He not only taught the value of being a quintessential father and family man, he taught the importance of work ethic and taking pride in your land, in your country, and in a job well done. He taught you how to hold a flashlight (for hours) while he repaired your car in the dark with his own two hands while he was patiently teaching you how to fix it yourself should you ever need to. Okay so “patient” may be a slight overstatement as there were a few “choice” swear words to be endured about non-American made parts, but he was patient in the sense that he never gave up on his project or on his student.

My father was a father to all who knew him. Many called him Dad and he took this role very seriously not just with his own children but with the many friends of his children. He taught us all how to build sheds, grow gardens, fish, throw an awesome BBQ, and explore every little road and backwoods trail of those sandy, piney, southern Jersey towns while trying to “get lost”. He was never lost!

My father taught us all to grow where we were planted and even though many of us have blown in the wind like dandelion seeds, traveling to far away places, we have all learned how to create strong roots where we land and thrive in whatever conditions we face because of his guidance. It took many years for this dandelion seed to “land,” but I believe I have at long-last found the best place I call “home,” the place I feel that special connection to. As I truly embrace this land where I have planted, I hear my father’s voice.  In those moments when I am busy digging in the dirt of my backyard and a red cardinal flies past, I am reminded that he is watching and that he is proud.

                                                 Happy Father’s Day To My Daddy in Heaven